7 Telling Signs A Couple Really Trusts Each Other, According To Psychology

Trust is a crucial aspect of any successful relationship, but it is a quality that can be difficult to cement, especially in the early days. Trust is not simply the belief that your partner will be faithful to you — though of course, that is a fundamental necessity in a trusting relationship — but is a deeper connection that allows both parties to navigate life knowing that their other half will be an active supporter of everything they do. Trust is not something that appears overnight, and it can take months or even years for deep trust to form within a relationship. A crucial factor in building that trust is emotional empathy and being able to understand your partner's feelings. 

In some couples, the evidence of the trust they have for each other comes across strongly, and is it clear for an outsider to see. From living independent lives based on their own passions and goals, to resolving conflict in a mature and efficient manner, there are a few behaviors that are exhibited by couples who have a deeply trusting relationship. Whether you are striving to build trust in your relationship, or simply curious to know what to look for, here are seven of the subtle signs of trust between a couple. 

It may seem like a bit of a contradiction, but one of the key signs of trusting your partner is the ability to be vulnerable. Strangely, vulnerability isn't linked to feeling unsafe, but is actually a crucial element of feeling safe with your partner. If you have the courage to expose your most vulnerable feelings and fears with them, it shows a deep emotional trust.

Becoming truly vulnerable with your partner is not something you can just decide to do, jumping in and revealing your entire self to them. It happens in stages, ideally with both of you becoming more confident as time passes. You share one aspect of yourself that you would be uncomfortable doing with anyone else, and if it is met with love and respect rather than ridicule or disdain, you will feel like opening up further the next time. If this happens consistently, then a couple can learn to truly trust each other, and feel completely emotionally safe in their presence, no matter what happens.

This is the reason that vulnerability is such a strong marker of trust in a relationship. For a couple to be truly vulnerable means that they have felt safe with each other over a prolonged period of time, allowing the trust to deepen and their mutual emotional respect to strengthen.

In the early days of being in love, the aim is to spend as much time as possible in each other's presence, and the thought of choosing to be apart seems ludicrous. As time goes on, however, long-term relationships thrive when both partners are able to live an element of their life without their partner, but it takes a huge amount of trust to achieve this properly.

In relationships where trust is lacking, one or both partners can often try to control what the other one does outside of their involvement. There may be jealousy or anger at the thought of the other person having fun without them, and this can lead to individuals giving up aspects of their own lives that are important to them.

A deeply trusting relationship means setting healthy boundaries, and each partner encourages their other half to continue to do the things they love and see important people in their lives, just as they did in the past. They encourage each other to chase their dreams and become better individuals, which will in turn make them stronger as a pair. Though people will naturally change as they grow older, ideally that change will be as a result of the wealth of people and experiences that surround them, rather than being defined solely by their relationship.

Communicating clearly, especially when you know the conversation will be difficult, is a challenge in all aspects of life, but especially in romantic relationships. Being able to tackle sensitive topics without becoming defensive is a skill that many of us are lacking in, and it can often lead to important issues not being properly discussed.

One obvious area in which trust and communication are very closely linked relates to the side effects that keeping secrets from a partner can have. If channels of communication are poor, one or both partners may feel they can't divulge certain things to their other half, meaning that secrets are kept. This can lead to guilt, even when the secret is fairly innocuous, which can degrade trust even further. Within a trusting relationship, partners feel confident enough to be honest with their other half, even when it will result in a difficult conversation or potential disappointment.

Communicating well doesn't only involve speaking. It is crucial, as the other partner, to listen actively when an important topic is raised, and to show empathy and understanding even in difficult circumstances. This makes it much more likely that the other party will feel safe enough to raise a similar issue in the future, and prevent the vicious circle of secrecy and poor communication.

When you enter into a new relationship, chances are you are fascinated to learn everything you can about the other person, including their hopes and dreams, and how they plan to achieve them. Fast forward 10 years, and the flame may have faded a little, but in a deeply trusting relationship, couples should still be just as enthusiastic to help their partner succeed.

Of course, it is natural to focus on goals within a relationship that a couple want to achieve together, but this shouldn't be at the detriment of each individual's aspirations. It may seem counterintuitive to encourage a partner to switch their attention to a project that they wish to pursue alone, but supporting them with their endeavors will lead to a happier and more trusting relationship in the long term.

Supporting your partner's goals shows an emotional maturity that can only be present in a trusting relationship. Even if you won't benefit directly from their progress, a secure person will not feel that they are being abandoned or neglected. Instead it is a sign of interdependence, where the happiness of one partner will eventually lead to higher overall happiness as a couple.

Elton John told us decades ago, and he was right: Sorry does indeed seem to be the hardest word. So many of us struggle to apologize, especially to our romantic partners, but saying this tiny word easily is the key to a relationship of mutual trust.

The inability to apologize is a complicated emotional issue, and it can often stem from early experiences and people's reaction to either a genuine or forced apology. Many people believe that saying sorry is the same as admitting you were wrong, or giving the other person the idea that their own behavior was acceptable. This doesn't always need to be the case, and couples who can apologize to each other for the way they reacted to a situation can avoid the issue escalating further, no matter who was originally in the wrong.

The best time to apologize is as soon as possible, before the situation gets out of hand. It is easier to say sorry immediately, and allow both parties to cool down quickly, than to wait until the dust has settled then need to bring the whole situation up again. In a trusting relationship, the other person should gracefully accept an apology, rather than gloating or continuing the argument. In relationships based on mutual respect, both partners may even apologize for the part they played, meaning that no one needs to take sole blame. Ultimately, being quick to apologize doesn't make you weak — it shows emotional maturity and a willingness to take responsibility, something that can only make a relationship stronger.

In a secure, trusting relationship, jealousy is unlikely to rear its head and destroy the confidence of one or both partners. While it is natural to feel a pang of self-doubt every so often, in a happy relationship, there should be enough reassurance to make sure these insecurities don't escalate.

As a rule, the higher the level of trust in a relationship, the less likely a partner is to react badly to a situation where jealousy could potentially arise. Those who have lower trust in their partner are more likely to keep tabs on them, perhaps by sneaking a look through their phone or even following them when they leave the house. When jealousy arises in a relationship, it usually has little to do with the other person, and everything to do with the level of trust between the couple.

Preventing jealousy is the job of both parties in a relationship, first by building an appropriate level of trust to start from, then by clear communication so that misunderstandings that could lead to jealousy don't arise. Once trust is broken, it can be difficult to regain it, so a relationship that is free from jealousy is usually the mark of a couple that has no trust issues.

Arguing with your spouse is not a sign that your relationship is in trouble — every family that lives in close contact with each other is going to have friction every so often. The sign of a healthy relationship, however, is how conflict is dealt with, and this often comes down to trust.

In a trusting relationship, one partner will not automatically see an argument as a personal attack or a threat to their security. This aspect also ties in closely with open communication; if things are left to fester over time, it can result in further disagreements or a huge explosion of emotion that will leave both partners feeling drained. The key to successfully navigating conflict is to resolve it correctly every time, which is easier to do when trust is high. There is generally an outcome to every argument that will benefit both parties, and in couples with a secure relationship and a high level of trust, they will both fight hard to find out what that is. This helps to flip the purpose of an argument on its head — rather than fighting against each other, they can focus on searching for a resolution that will make their relationship stronger.