12 Signs Someone Might Be Secretly Attracted To You, According To Psychology

It's rough out there for singles trying to navigate the dating scene. Trying to read cues from your potential partner that shows they're into you can be harder than it sounds. What if you didn't get it right and now they're offended? What if what you thought was an innocent glance was actually a green flag? Well, you don't need to guess anymore, because psychology is on your side to help you out.

Here, you've got 12 subtle signals that show your potential mate is into you and that you may be on your way to seeing the signs of a happy relationship together. But you don't need to take everything at face value; there's plenty of science behind why they do it and signs to look for that show they're interested. However, keep in mind these aren't one-size-fits-all behaviors, especially for those who are introverted or shy. But that's okay, because once you know these subtle body language tricks, you can incorporate them to show that you're into them and see how they respond.

When someone is interested in you, research shows that they'll engage more deeply in conversation by asking you open-ended questions.  A 1992 study by Fichten, et al. found that people signal interest by sharing personal stories, responding openly, and encouraging the conversation to explore more meaningful topics. They ask questions that require more than just yes or no answers, because they want to see the signs of the authentic person you are and are demonstrating a genuine curiosity about you — it may be signaling their brain is on love and showing signs of attraction.

On the other hand, if they're not interested, then you'll notice a conversation with them is typically short, uses close-ended questions, has them changing the subject, or making excuses to end the conversation. In dating contexts, people who aren't interested may disagree with you, decline invitations, or mention having another partner. So, when your potential partner dives into open, personal questions, it's a strong sign they're paying more than just polite attention — they're genuinely into you and want to learn more about what makes you tick. 

Attraction isn't just about what someone says; it's also about how they try to grab your attention. Research on courtship behavior shows that during the first phase when people are dipping their toes in, they'll engage in specific behaviors to signal interest before even speaking. According to a 1978 study published in Psychiatry Interpersonal and Biological Processes, these can include stretching or extending their arms toward you, raising their arms while protruding the chest — sort of like stretching your arms while seated — or even yawning loudly. 

Researchers believe these behaviors happen due to feelings of nervousness and the desire that people have to look their best when near someone attractive but unfamiliar. So if you catch someone repeatedly making themselves more physically noticeable when you're around, like standing taller, positioning themselves in your line of sight, or using exaggerated movements, it's likely they're trying to get your attention because they're interested in you. However, attention-seeking behavior is one of the telltale signs of narcissism, so use this signal in conjunction with other positive signs to determine if they're into you. 

Have you ever felt like you were in a back and forth with someone who you thought kept looking at you? Well, science says that's one of the clearest signs someone is interested in you. As behavioral researcher J. Crook noted in their contribution to the 1972 "Sexual selection and the descent of man," people are generally hesitant to approach someone without some indication of interest first. But, when someone is interested yet uncertain, they may orient their body toward you while avoiding direct eye contact, instead allowing their gaze to sweep repeatedly back and forth across your field of view. And science says it works; a 1989 study in Semiotica showed that females who exhibited a "room-encompassing gaze" had an 80% success rate where their intended male would approach them. 

It might feel confusing, especially if someone catches you off-guard with their attention, but this repeated glancing serves a purpose. It lets them check if you're noticing them while also gauging your interest level without committing to a full interaction, which could lead to rejection and embarrassment. So if you catch someone looking at you multiple times, then quickly looking away when you meet their eyes, that's not random. They're simply interested but nervous, testing the waters to see if you might be receptive. Those quick, repeated glances are their way of saying "I see you, and I'm hoping you see me, too," without taking the risk of a direct approach.

Eye contact during conversation is one of the most powerful signals that someone is interested in you. The 1992 study by Fichten and colleagues found that people show interest through sustained eye contact and engaging you with genuine attention to what you're saying. In dating contexts, this interest intensifies through more intense eye contact and romantic touch. On the flip side, a lack of interest will tend to manifest as avoidance, slouching, looking away, turning their body, or general disengagement.

But there's something to pay attention to just to make sure you're reading the right signals. When we see something we like or feel aroused or excited, our pupils will dilate involuntarily. So pay close attention to whether their pupils seem larger when they're talking to you or looking at you. Since it's not something a person can easily control, it's a pretty reliable indicator that they're into you. 

When someone leans forward while talking to you, it's a strong signal they're genuinely interested. In her landmark 1985 study published in Ethology and Sociobiology, researcher Monica M. Moore observed more than 200 women in various settings and noticed 52 different nonverbal courtship behaviors. Among them, leaning forward emerged as one of the most telling signs of romantic interest. A 2013 paper from researchers at from the University of Kansas further confirmed this finding, discovering that people who are attracted to someone tend to lean into the interaction and adopt an open body posture.

The logic behind why this happens is fairly simple, as leaning forward communicates engagement and interest. It's a way of closing the physical distance between you two and shows they want to be closer during the conversation. On the other hand, if you notice they're leaning back and away from you, it could be a sign you've misunderstood their interest level — or you need a mint.

Like leaning in, someone standing close to you is a sign they're comfortable with — and possibly attracted to — you. A 2020 research paper published in PLoS One looked into the ways interpersonal distance and approach can influence behavior. It showed that having an active sexual attraction can embolden people to approach, therefore reducing their preferred interpersonal distance with their potential mate. In other words, when someone is interested in you, they subconsciously want to close the gap between you.

Of course, context matters here since a person standing close to you in a crowded bar is different from someone finding a way to stand right at your side in an open room. But, if you notice someone consistently closing the distance between you two and maintaining that closeness, it's a pretty solid indicator they're interested. It's also a great time to subtly check for other signs of attraction, like leaning into the conversation and dilated pupils.

When someone asks you for help, it might seem harmless, or even burdensome if you're busy, but keep your senses alert, because it may actually be a sign of attraction. The psychology behind this is rooted in interdependency by creating a subtle mutual reliance that communicates trust and romantic interest. Essentially, when we like someone, we want to strengthen the connection to them, and making them feel helpful to you can be a way to improve that bond, which can then become a foundation for romantic feelings to grow. 

However, this is one of those signals that needs context since misreading it could backfire badly. In professional settings, asking for help may just mean someone needs your expertise to solve a problem. But if someone you're interested in keeps finding reasons to ask for your assistance or advice on personal matters, they might be subconsciously trying to deepen the connection between you. Also, pay attention to if they use the word "we" while working together; science shows its one of the most persuasive words that people can use to get others on their side, or in this case, reciprocate attraction. 

When someone mirrors your behavior, research shows it's often a subconscious sign of attraction and rapport, and it happens when people feel a genuine connection with someone. So if you notice mimicking behaviors like them copying your movements, dressing like you, and using the same catchphrases you do, it's probably a green flag that they think you're interesting.

The process of mirroring is known as "the chameleon effect" since it involves copying the other person's body language in subtle ways, like crossing their legs after you've crossed yours. It's almost always a subconscious behavior rather than something deliberate, which is what makes it such a reliable tell. If you want to test whether someone is mirroring you, try a subtle gesture like scratching your nose or uncrossing your legs and see if they copy you a few moments later. If they do, chances are good they're paying attention to you and feeling that connection.

Have you ever felt that electricity that happens when your pinky finger brushes up against your crush's? Then you already know how powerful a sign of attraction it can be, and the research backs it up. Psychology researchers have found that light, intentional touches like a brush on the back of the hand or knees touching together under a table can serve as a cue of attraction, as well as a suggestion that a deeper connection is desired. Interestingly, even casual touch that's not centered around attraction can also trigger positive feelings. In one 1998 study, researchers at Cornell University found that waitresses who lightly touched customers while bringing the check received larger tips than those who didn't, showing how powerful touch can be in building rapport.

However, context and consent matter immensely. If someone is touching you in ways that make you uncomfortable or without your permission, that's not a time for figuring out if you're dealing with the mathematics of love, but instead, that touch is a red flag that should be taken seriously. Genuine attraction expressed through touch is gentle, respectful, and reciprocal while aggressive grabbing or groping is unacceptable. So, when evaluating whether someone's touch signals interest in you, pay attention to how it makes you feel and whether it respects your boundaries. If it feels good and natural, it might be a positive sign. If it feels invasive or unwelcome, trust that instinct and take steps to safely remove yourself from the situation.

When someone uses an open body stance around you, it's often a signal that they're attracted to you. In this case, an "open stance" means they're not crossing their arms defensively, are facing you directly, and their posture appears expansive rather than closed off. Research suggests that this kind of nonverbal dominance display and body expansiveness makes a person appear more confident and attractive to potential mates. 

In the dating world, the logic behind this makes sense. Having an open and expansive posture can signal confidence, receptivity, and comfort, increasing someone's chances of being perceived as a desirable partner.  When someone is interested in you, they tend to unfold their arms, face you fully, and position their body in an inviting way. On the flip side, if someone keeps their arms crossed, turns their body away, or maintains a closed posture, it might suggest they're uncomfortable and feel the need to be guarded, subconsciously protecting their body.

If someone frequently touches their hair, smooths their clothing, or tweaks their appearance when they're around you, it's often a signal they're trying to make a good impression. The 1985 study by Monica M. Moore found that primping was among the most common signals of romantic interest. And it seems to work, too. In Moore and Butler's 1989 study published in Semiotica, they found that women who engaged in behaviors like flipping their hair had an astonishing 90% approach rate from men.

What makes primping so powerful is how effective it is at unconsciously communicating clues that signal attraction. This behavior becomes even more telling if the person of interest don't tend to primp as much when you're not around. The simple act of hair flipping or adjusting one's appearance sends a clear signal of interest and availability. So if you notice someone fixing their hair, straightening their clothes, or checking their reflection when you're nearby, they're likely trying to present themselves in the best possible light because they care what you think.

When someone engages in good-natured ribbing with you, it could be a signal of romantic interest. Research shows that good-natured teasing creates a dynamic where you're playing together, building rapport through shared humor. When someone teases you consistently and you both laugh about it, they're signaling comfort and a desire for deeper engagement.  

The key word here, though, is "good-natured," which means the teasing is lighthearted, playful, and accompanied by smiles and laughter rather than mean-spirited jabs. If the teasing ever makes you feel genuinely bad or uncomfortable, that's not a sign of interest you should allow. Genuine attraction-based teasing should feel fun and reciprocal, leaving both of you laughing together rather than one person feeling diminished or bad.