Your Relationship 'Icks' Are Easily Explained By Science

There's no agreed-upon definition of "the ick" feeling (which is unfortunate for people with alexithymia). Scientists call the feeling "instant repulsion." Colloquially, the ick refers to a feeling of sudden disgust. It's when a potential romantic interest suddenly loses all their charm or when a small comment ruins your entire impression of someone. For some people, it's realizing their date chews with their mouth open or snaps their gum. As subjective as the ick feeling may be, scientists are  still seeking to understand its origins. 

Clinical researchers across the globe, such as Dr. Naomi Bernstein, have found that evolution has a big hand to play in the feeling of instant repulsion. Bernstein's research describes how small signals of evolutionary preferability can trigger an individual to suddenly lose romantic interest. Such signals can be as seemingly insignificant as chapped lips, and they may be influenced by our weakened pheromone detectors. In any case, chapped lips typically indicate poor health or poor hydration, traits that potential suitors usually deem undesirable in a mate.

Of course, human psychology is more complex than pure evolution. Around two-thirds of people report experiencing the ick, so it's something of a universal psychological phenomenon. Cultural and social norms also influence how different people experience the ick. Many people are triggered by concepts of masculinity and social rankings, while others find small behaviors, like tipping less than 20%, enough to trigger it. You might have a date whom you discover (with horror) claps when the plane lands. Is such bizarre behavior socially acceptable? If not, you'll likely get the ick.

Scientists have attempted to explain the ick through a range of disciplines. The ick, if understood to mean the feeling of sudden realization that a potential partner is incompatible, can be explained by biology, psychology, anthropology, and sociology. The real answer is probably a combination of all four. For instance, psychology can explain the relationship between the mind and the likelihood of experiencing instant revulsion towards someone. In fact, studies have found a strong link between those who report feeling the ick and those who score highly for narcissism, perfectionism, and emotional sensitivity.

But personality doesn't explain everything. Clinical psychologists have proposed that those who suffer from relationship anxiety or relationship avoidance are highly likely to experience the ick. Those who frequently experience sudden revulsions are often triggered by past trauma, especially childhood trauma. Some experience the ick when they encounter something (or someone) who reminds them of their trauma event. Other times, individuals experience the ick as a reaction to unfamiliar people and environments. In either case, our past experiences shape our social reactions, including our snap decisions about romantic interests.

Then, there's a simple explanation for the origin of the ick: simple disgust. Through evolutionary instinct and learned risk-avoidance, many people get turned off by things that are unsanitary or unappealing. These people are considered to have an above-average disgust sensitivity, and they're often especially bothered by germs, bodily fluids, and poor grooming. It's unlikely that the same people would abide by the 5-second rule. Nonetheless, everybody experiences the feeling of instant repulsion (the ick) in their own unique way, so perhaps there isn't one neat explanation for dates that suddenly went sour.