11 Attractive Traits That Have Nothing To Do With Appearance

If you had to make a list of things that you find attractive in other people, physical appearance would likely feature on it. However, the way we look is only one of the many, many things that human beings can find alluring in each other ... and there's an excellent chance that you might find some of the other ones very surprising.   

The thing is, your brain on love can be a tricky thing. The things that people find attractive in each other may not have anything to do with the most obvious primary and secondary sexual characteristics whatsoever. In fact, they can be outright counterintuitive. Just like there are many ways the anatomy of the brain might surprise you, there are also numerous surprising attributes that might yank your particular brain toward sending all sorts of great signals about other people. Let's take a closer look at these unexpected attractive traits that have nothing to do with a person's appearance. 

Extraversion and introversion are some of the best-known personality traits. Research suggests that extroverts enjoy social activities more than introverts because their brain is wired to reward socially stimulating experiences. As it turns out, this isn't the only way extroverts benefit from being socially adept. According to some research, extroverted people may also be able to convince others that they are physically attractive. 

There's a catch, however. An extrovert can't just waltz into a party and dazzle everyone into thinking that the person in question is a supermodel. However, they may have a better chance at pulling off similar moves online. A 2015 study that was published in the Australian Journal of Psychology had a team of professional recruiters dig into an array of different social media profiles. They soon found that extroverted users could very well come across as attractive based on their online footprint alone. 

Fortunately, the study's indication that extroverted people can be perceived as more attractive online doesn't mean that introverts are completely locked out of the allure loop. In recent years, psychology has started to rethink the old ideas of fixed personalities. While you can't just put on a new personality like you'd change a shirt, aspects of our personalities can change over time, and there is some evidence that the traditional division between things like extraversion and introversion may not be as clear as we used to think. 

It's a scientifically known fact that the ability to make the other person laugh can absolutely increase an individual's attractiveness. However, as many funny women may already know, this phenomenon can come with a twist. While both men and women see a sense of humor as an attractive trait, research has suggested for decades that their approaches to the subject have one drastic difference: Women tend to like men who make them laugh, while men find women who they can make laugh attractive.

However, the traditional approach of viewing men as the comedians and women as appreciators of comedy has its detractors. According to recent research by Arizona State University's Erika Langley and Michelle Schiota, the true purpose of finding a great sense of humor attractive is related to the concept of creative ingenuity. In other words, fun interactions with a prospective partner send out a signal that the person is good at solving various conundrums that life might throw their way — which, in turn, makes them more desirable. 

"The idea here is that while there might be gender differences in who might be stereotyped or societally expected to be funny in a relationship — especially early in courtship — when it comes to actually interacting with a funny dating partner, both men and women are picking up on creative problem-solving and both benefit from having a partner who can tackle a variety of life's problems," Langley described the findings to ASU News.

Being sociable is not necessarily the same thing as being an extrovert. While both concepts imply a fondness for interacting with others, extroverts can be very talkative and energetic. Meanwhile, the concept of being sociable is associated with a distinctly agreeable and friendly manner of social behavior. 

According to a 2010 study by Brian P. Meier et al, people who are sociable and agreeable may actually appear more attractive to others. As always, though, there is an asterisk. People with these traits don't automatically come across as particularly tempting. However, the research found a positive correlation between subjects who recognize these traits in themselves and their rated attractiveness. As such, sociable people can be seen as more attractive ... but only if they know that they are sociable. 

It's possible that the correlation between these traits and perceived attractiveness comes from how sociable and agreeable personality traits may quite literally shape the way a person looks. Because people with these traits like to spend time with others, they may be more likely to pay more attention to little things like their expressions, clothes, and hairstyles. 

It might not be an Earth-shattering revelation to find out that honesty tends to be viewed as an attractive trait. However, the surprising thing is just how easily humans can recognize honesty and identify it as alluring.

According to recent studies, people may be able to instinctively recognize whether the other person is lying or telling the truth, even when they don't know or even suspect that the speaker would be anything but honest. Despite having no idea of who was telling them lies and who was telling the truth, test subjects evaluated the people who spoke sincerely as more open and approachable — and therefore more attractive — than the ones who were lying. 

Of course, honesty does more than just help people to see you as more attractive. Many of the most tangible signs that you're in a happy relationship are built on mutual trust, which obviously also requires a truthful approach. As such, being honest isn't just an attractive trait: It's a quality that will serve you well throughout the course of the relationship. 

Smiling is associated with numerous health benefits. Like laughter, it can act as a painkiller and help a person's body in numerous ways. Smiling also signals friendliness and trustworthiness, and because there are certain ways to tell when a smile is fake, it's easy to spot the genuine article. 

Given the many positive things that are associated with smiling, it makes sense that it might play a role in increasing a person's allure. In fact, research has found that the simple act of smiling can considerably improve the overall attractiveness of a person. 

While there seems to be little question about the effectiveness of a smile in terms of what makes women appear attractive, other studies have found that this particular facial expression might not work quite as well when it comes to men — at least in terms of initial sexual attractiveness. In fact, some research suggests that men might do better with a subtle, brooding "bad boy" look that makes them appear slightly ashamed.  

Even if a person is conventionally attractive, at some point they'll have to open their mouth and converse with other people. At this point, things can easily take a turn for the worse ... or even better, depending on the conversation topic they choose. 

Especially during the first two hours of interacting with a new person, the things you choose to talk about can heavily influence how attractive you appear. Fortunately, the "trick" to do this right is very simple — all you need to do is keep the conversation civilized. While you can and should divulge basic things about yourself, remember to be honest and to avoid oversharing. As for general topics, avoid discussing things like sex, money, religion, and other potentially awkward things. Instead, focus on neutral and socially appropriate topics like culture and current events. 

The reason conversation topics matter so much is simple. What you say while talking with another person will give them an idea of your ability to competently behave in a social setting and reveal an appropriate amount of yourself in a conversation, which is seen as an attractive trait. However, if a person keeps pushing the conversation beyond appropriate boundaries or shares too much personal information too soon, there's a good chance that they will give a bad impression of themselves and elicit negative emotions in the other person. 

Kindness is obviously a positive trait, but is it attractive? According to a 2024 study series published in the British Journal of Social Psychology by Natalia Kononov and Danit Ein-Gar, it most certainly is. In fact, the results indicate that kindness can actually increase your perceived attractiveness. 

The studies focused on the umbrella term of prosocial behavior, which entails kindness and other positive social interactions, such as helping others. They involved putting over 4,000 people in various situations where they saw people either behaving in an unremarkable fashion or committing acts of kindness. The kind people were consistently and overwhelmingly rated as more physically attractive. What's more, consistent kindness was seen as more beautiful than individual positive acts, and the pull of prosocial behavior's allure turned out to be even stronger than more famous attractive traits like the aforementioned sense of humor. 

"Kindness and generosity made both men and women appear more attractive, regardless of who was being evaluated or who was doing the evaluating," Kononov told PsyPost. "This gender-universal appeal highlights just how broadly kindness can shape perceptions of beauty." 

Do the people close to you share the same interests as you do? If so, this could play a significant part in how attractive you find them. 

If two people meet and discover that they have a particular interest in common, it's very easy for them to like each other more than they otherwise would. This increased attractiveness factor can be triggered by a wide variety of similarities. A shared taste of music is a big one, here. The physics of music are interesting enough, and its effects on concentration make for a neat science project. However, music is also an incredibly powerful unifier, and people with similar tastes may well find each other attractive. Shared ethical, religious, and political views also enhance perceived attractiveness, while more personalized interests like hobbies are less likely to have the same effect.  

The tendency to create bonds with folks who share the same interests is called homophily. It's present in a lot of our social behavior, from friendship groups we form when we're young to building relationships through shared interests — as well as the ensuing attraction that may follow.   

Feeling good makes you look good in the eyes of others, and looking good in the eyes of other people makes you feel good. Self-esteem, personal clarity, and overall sense of self are inherently tied to a person's attractiveness — in fact, research indicates that they're so connected that both influence each other. 

Research has found that a certain clarity and comfort about one's own appearance is definitely helpful. When a person thinks they're attractive, it correlates with a high self-esteem. People with a positive view of their attractiveness also rate their confidence in their romantic relationships higher, which suggests that they have little trouble finding people who think they're attractive. 

However, the path to a positive view of one's attractiveness and actual attractiveness is a two-way street. Apart from the way a healthy sense of self may be able to improve your attractiveness, you can also improve the physical traits that affect attractiveness in order to gain a potential boost for your self-esteem. 

Does hard work pay off? It sure does, if you ask psychology — at least when it comes to being seen as attractive. Conscientiousness is a personality trait that defines a person's desire to do their duties well. While a cynical mind might find it tempting to think that overachieving is a fool's game, being conscientious is actually an incredibly good thing in more ways than one. 

A high level of conscientiousness is an extremely desirable trait in a romantic partner. After all, it determines how well the person takes care of their errands and day-to-day activities, and holds on to mutual plans. On the other hand, if a person isn't particularly conscientious, there's a very decent chance that their tendency to slack makes them unlikely to pull their weight in a romantic scenario. Even apart from relationships, conscientious people tend to be attractive members of the workforce. In fact, research has suggested that high conscientiousness is the most important personality trait when it comes to a person's potential to succeed in an organization.   

Of course, this doesn't mean that only conscientious people are able to commit to a fulfilling relationship, let alone do their job well. However, as a baseline trait, being responsible sure does sound more attractive than the opposite, doesn't it?

Have you ever wanted to have the kind of face that stands out in the crowd? Well, science has good news and bad news. The good news is that it's entirely possible to stand in a crowd and receive an added dose of attractiveness. The bad news is that you're doing so thanks to a brain glitch that allows a person to "borrow" some extra good looks from other group members.

This strange but very real phenomenon is known as the cheerleader effect. The term was originally coined by Neil Patrick Harris' character Barney Stinson on the CBS sitcom "How I Met Your Mother." He used it to describes an optical illusion that causes the viewer observing a group of people to see individual members of said group as more attractive than they really are. 

As it happens, the cheerleader effect is a very real phenomenon, and Mr. Stinson simply ended up giving it a name. The brain tends to make sense of a group's faces by turning them all into the average face of the group, and because humans tend to see average faces as aesthetically pleasing, this tends to make the individual members of the group seem more attractive as well. This obviously isn't a long-term strategy, unless the person in question somehow manages to bring their whole squad with them for a date. Still, it's a fun trick to keep in mind for, say, social media photos.